


all for love

by cinnamoncirl



Category: Yungblud (Musician)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Use, F/M, Lots Of Sad, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-10-20 12:02:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20675075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamoncirl/pseuds/cinnamoncirl
Summary: the one where you fall for dominic harrison and hate yourself for it.





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> loosely inspired by euphoria (hbo) and zendaya‘s ‚all for us‘  
gonna be a couple of chapters i hope. please be patient with me.

i sigh loudly as i lay my eyes on another one of those stoners in the corner, rolling his blunt in peace. his hair was so bloody messy, falling into his face so i couldn’t even make out who it was. my friend pushes her elbow into my hip and i shriek in pain pushing her back so she bumps into another gal next to her, who’s almost down to start another fight. „kat what‘s your problem, and why you keep staring at these dudes, you’re so anti drugs why are you even here!?“ jen shakes her head and i just force out a laugh. i absolutely hated parties like these. trashy, smelly, vomit on the floor and not a single sober person. you know, these ones in the junkie basements (which still have the best music and atmosphere i always seek though). taking another sip of my beer i turn my head back to that messy dude who somehow had all of my attention. as he finished rolling his almost perfect blunt, i was extremely surprised to see him pass it on to some girl next to him, which nods him a thanks and quickly lights it up, already leaving. apparently i was really staring that hard because jen poked me in the face this time and yelled at me (over the music which has constantly been getting louder) to finally stop fucking staring. blunt boy finally lifted his head and his gaze immediately fell upon me, thanks to my oh so discreet friend. my jaw almost dropped as i finally got to see his face in all glory, all goofy smile n shit. i turn to jen, not taking my eyes off of him, though and start to yell back at her. „who the fuck is he, haven’t seen him before?“ jen shrugs her shoulders and reaches into the back pocket of my jeans to grab us two a cigarette. „dunno, seen him around with that fred dude, must be new. 'nother one of those art students, probs.“  
jen puts the cigarette into my mouth and lights it for me. taking my first drag, blunt boy and i don’t turn away from each other. he‘s still at the other end of the room and the lights all freaky colors but i could sure as hell make out those pink fucking socks and his huge smirk on that messy face, lowkey covered with even messier hair. by the way, yes, i do smoke and drink but.. boy, do i hate those druggies. so it was an even bigger relief to have seen blunt boy pass his blunt on to someone else. „kat, don‘t tell me you find that arse hot, please.“ i could sense her rolling her eyes as she gets up next to me and pulls me out of the room hastily. she drags me up the stairs by my hand, me unbothered, taking quick drags of my cigarette. i shiver once jen opens the front door and the first bit of cold air hits me. jen quickly finds a comfortable, ice-cold rock for us to sit on and pushes me, her hand with cigarette on my thigh. „please do not burn me.“ i whisper under my breath. „okay, real talk, you definitively do not need another guy at the moment, especially one like that, you got mad just watching him roll that one.“ watching the people walk in and out of the rotten building, some sitting on rocks and laying on the grass like us, i grin and can’t help but giggle a bit at the messed up people in sight. she’s right, yeah, but when did i say i liked him? not really into artsy gals with pink socks and... green eyes, huge smiles.. „katherine!“ -„yeah, fine, mum. what if i only wanna tap that?“ i ask her, mad at myself for finding my mind drift back and forth to that junkie. suddenly, a loud, laughing voice pulls us out of our argument:“right, mum, let her tap that!“ he yells. turning around in shock, i honestly just wanted to sink behind that rock but tried to play it cool as i realised, fucking blunt boy stood right there behind us. „goddamn it, mate, why you creeping up on us like that?!“ i almost screamed at him. blunt boy leans against the dirty wall next to us and lights a cigarette, holding his pack of marlboros out to me afterwards. of course, jen had to go for it first, thankfully grabbing me one too. „who are you?“ she asks blunt boy and for the first time this night i got to see his full face, without his hair in his face. i quickly studied all of his features, almost losing myself in those eyes again. and those lips, gorgeous. blunt boy licks these very lips as he finds me staring at them viciously and looks me straight in the eye. not gonna lie but, god, did he turn me on in that very moment. „dom, dominic, whatever. how 'bout you two, haven’t seen you around much?“  
„yeah, that one‘s been hiding in her dorm room for pretty much all her time in college here!“ jen exclaims, pointing to me while squishing my cheek. i blush a little and slap her hand away, turning to her.  
„i‘ve been trying to distance myself from all the drugs and parties to really focus on what matters. you know-psychology.“  
blunt boy -uhhh, dom i mean, raises his left eyebrow and his face lights up, that huge fucking smile spreading all across his face. his smile really was huge, from one side of his face to the other. but holy shit, was he attractive. his accent also really hit me, and his voice kept ringing in my ears long after he ended his sentence. „really? i‘m in psych too, how come we‘ve never met before?“ he crosses his arms in front of his chest, his one arm almost brushing my shoulder. i shivered a little and shrugged my shoulders, sighing while staring down on my cigarette, hoping i didn’t stare at that pretty face for too long. „i don‘t know, you seem like you‘d hang with the type of people i‘ve been avoiding.“  
jen pushes me and i almost lose my balance and fall down the rock we‘ve been sitting on, spilling a little beer on myself in the process.  
„i apologize, dom, kat‘s on her period again! gotta admit, i really thought you would’ve been in arts, suits you better.“  
dom was visibly disappointed by my words and shakes his head. „who do you guys think i am? just because i look like this and roll a blunt at some tech party? seriously?“ he put his hand on my shoulder and also gently pushes me but as i look up to him, he smiles at me and jen. honestly, the angle in which we were positioned was kind of suggestive. me looking up from underneath my bangs, his hand on my shoulder and him looking down on me like that. there was some sort of sexual tension, and i was pretty sure anyone watching us could tell, which did... embarrass me in some way. „whatever, i‘ll see you guys around“ he throws his cigarette to the ground and lifts his beer up before taking a huge gulp. „cheers!“ he yells, turning around and leaving us, the absence of his hand on my shoulder making me shiver.  
jen shakes her head at me and gets up off the rock, holding out her hand for me to help me up. „you’re so fucking rude, quit that attitude or you‘ll never find any other friends but me.“ i wipe the dirt off the back of my jeans and watch dom disappear into the dark. maybe, just maybe, i didn’t even want any other friends, i prefer to keep to myself, really. „honestly, i think he might would wanna tap that as well.“ jen says as she heads back to the entrance of the club.  
„i wasn‘t serious!“ i yell after her. i wasn‘t intending on going back into that club. my god, how embarrassing was i. ‚i really need to stop being so fucking negative.‘ i thought, turning around and heading in the opposite direction, back to the campus, back to my dorm.


	2. chapter 2

i really fucking hated myself.  
falling onto my tiny, stinky bed at night. i haven‘t bothered to change my sheets, or to change anything in my life lately, really. maybe that depression was creeping back up on me. i was staring holes into my ceiling and found my mind wandering back and fourth between anxious thoughts, telling me to get my shit back together, to blunt boy. ‚why am i so damn awkward?‘ i am really bad at flirting, i know. my strategy of flirting is really blunt anyways. staring at people until they may or may not come up to me, me always only having one thing in mind. it‘s been a while since i‘ve really been in love and not only looking for quick fucks in club bathrooms or other dirty dorm rooms. maybe i have lost all respect for myself but honestly, it’s 2019, anyone can be a slut these days if they wanted to be. i loved that though. all i was looking for was validation, it’s not that i even enjoyed sex. i enjoy making people cum, being in control, since that is the only thing in my life i can control. that’s really the only thing i could think of when i first saw blunt boy. at least i hope for it to be.  
wondering what his bouncy, messy head full of hair would look like between my sheets and my thighs. you probably could tug that hair really good. his enormous pillow lips and tongue trailing across my stomach and hips. he might even like biting and bruising, which would look so pretty on my hip-bones.  
‚go to sleep kat, you’re fucking drunk.‘ i tell myself, shaking my head while i crawl underneath my sheets. i have never met that boy before but honestly, he was the only thing i could think of before falling asleep.

thump, thump, thump!  
i awake to the sound of someone banging onto my door as if they’re being chased by fucking zombies.  
which made me realize i actually just dreamt of being chased by these very zombies.  
sitting up in bed a little too quickly, i could feel my head spinning and the remaining alcoholic liquid in my stomach trying to crawl back up my throat. „jen?! what the fuck?“ i yell over to the door, an acidic burp escaping my mouth almost making me vomit. i don’t recall drinking that much, how is this happening?  
i get up as slow as possible, stumbling across the room to almost fall into the door. ‚that’s going to be an amazing hangover!‘  
maybe it already was? what time even was it? i could tell the sun was already rising but i always kept the curtains closed anyway. holding onto the doorknob before turning it i hesitate, wondering if it really was jen? „who is it? jen? you lost your keys again?“  
„JESUS CHRIST!! just open the fucking door!“ my lovely roommate jennifer yells back at me through the thin wooden door.  
i quickly open and jen rushes inside, heading to the bathroom right away. rolling my eyes, i smash the door closed and make my way back into the bed. after chugging down almost an entire bottle of water, i pull my covers back over my head, falling asleep to the sound of my barfing friend. 

„rise and shine motherfuckeeeer! it’s almost 4pm and you’ve missed all your claaaassseeeees!“  
jen sings from the other side of the room, her voice croaky as if she went to a heavy-metal scream marathon the day before. i pull my pillow out from underneath my head to drag it over my face instead. screaming into my pillow, the entire last night was flashing in front of my eyes again. my god, i really need to quit drinking as well. or return to drugs instead, they don’t give you hangovers like these. a familiar face shows up in my head at the thought of drugs. blunt boy, staring me dead in the eye as he licks the paper of his blunt before rolling it closed and passing it on to his friend.  
„jen, please kick my fucking ass so i stop thinking about that motherfucker.“ i beg her and sit up in my bed, leaning onto the wall to face my friend. jen was looking really bad, maybe even worse than me right now. her eyes were all black with mascara and eyeliner and her bloody lipstick smeared all around her mouth, nothing left in the position it was supposed to be. i suppose she has been making out or fucking at least one person last night.  
„you’re disgusting kat, i‘ll let you loose outside again if you ever stop falling in love with the first guy that has just the smallest bit of conversation with you.“  
„listen! i am not falling for anyone, ever. i‘m just horny, jesus, let me be.“ annoyed, jen gets up and makes her way to the window to open the curtains. i remembered how much i really intended and planned on doing today but boy, do i know none of that is happening anytime soon. exams were coming up and i also really needed to finish that assignment i‘ve already been pushing in front of me for the past three weeks.  
„i‘m gonna take a shower, which...“ jen turns her head my direction and scrunches her nose, pretending to smell me. „you probably should too. then i‘m gonna go grab some coffee and br.... dinner, dinner, i mean!“ 

two showers and an hour later jen and i arrive at the campus café, both of us sighing loudly as we see the huge queue.  
„why the hell is it so packed in here?!“ jen whispers to me. i haven‘t seen this many people around since they started selling pumpkin spice lattes. two minutes into waiting the first of jen‘s friends come up to her. you really couldn’t be out with her without her meeting anyone she knows. jen really was that popular and to be honest, i really hated it. she’s been really good at making friends wherever she goes since she was little. i‘ve known her for so long, also know the people she hangs out with. sometimes, maybe like once a month, i join her and her friends. like i mentioned before, i prefer to keep to myself.  
i guess no one really enjoys my company either. before i went to college and before i had my little drug issue i did have a couple of friends as well, liked going out and dressing up. i even had a proper relationship before all of this started. but i guess i‘ve started working on myself now.  
„who was that guy you made out with last night? you know the tall artsy fella?“ one of jen‘s friends asked her, grinning and wrapping her arm around her shoulder. maybe i started to panic a little because... didn’t that sound like blunt boy? i tried to remember and came to realize that he left way before jen did last night.  
„don’t really remember his name, but i think he’s friends with luke and his boys?“ jen tells us hesitantly.  
no way that could have been blunt boy. jen would never.  
we finally reached the front of the queue and quickly place our orders, me receiving my black, cheap coffee right away. i lean against the counter and watch jen and her friends talk and giggle when suddenly, at the very back of the shop, in the last corner i see him. his eyes are glued to his phone and he’s lifting his cup of tea ( with the teabag still inside, gross ) to his mouth.  
„fuck.“ i whisper, maybe a little too loud since i caught jen‘s attention.  
„what is it?“ she turns to me, a little worried, and then to see who i was staring at. rolling her eyes, she takes my hand and kisses it.  
„my highness, there is your king. he looks like he is waiting, just for you.“  
i elbow her stomach and turn around the other direction to the counter.  
„if you don’t shut the fuck up right now i will rip off your fake lashes, jennifer. i embarrassed myself and you know i don’t like him. i don‘t even know him.“ i reply to her, ready to leave the café at any moment. sadly, the boy was sitting right next to the entrance so i knew i had to pass him to leave and he would’ve 100 percent seen me.  
„whatever, we-“ jen starts and grabs her friends hand. „- are leaving now, and if you don’t want to spend your depressing hangover by yourself, i suggest you just go the fuck up to him.“  
could this situation get any more embarrassing? i still felt like utter crap and didn’t even want to spend my day with anyone. but you see, jen is somewhat my mother and you shouldn’t disobey your mother, right? jen kisses my cheek and i wave her and her friends goodbye, left to myself and only... another 30 people in that damn shop.  
‚okay, get it together kat.‘ i tell myself in my head, stuffing my one hand into the pocket of my sweater, the other one tightly clutching my coffee cup. i took all the strength i had and made my way over to the entrance of the shop, getting closer and closer to dom.  
taking a last deep breath before i sit down on the free chair next to him and putting on a forced smile, he slowly lifts his head to turn to me.  
after what i’ve said to him last night, the last thing i expected him to do was smiling so bright at me, i could see every single one of his teeth. actually i could even tell that his left front tooth was chipped and it really kind of bothered me.  
„hi...“ i greet him, a little shocked at how quiet my voice got.  
„kat? right?“ dom asks while he quickly fumbles with his phone and his earphones, trying to shove them in the pocket of his jeans. „good to see you, how are you? look a little hungover i gotta admit.“ i knew i looked wrecked and hungover, i didn’t even bother to put on make up today but that really had me nervous. „uhm, katherine, yeah.“ thank god he forgot my name and i didn’t forget his - awkward. „look, dominic. i don’t know if you remember last night but i am truly sorry for what i said to you.“ i was already preparing to get up and leave because i felt my head start to spin from the embarrassment. i almost flinched as dom reached his hand out to touch my arm and i could tell he saw it by the way he quickly pulled back. his bright smile slowly disappeared but remained a soft expression. „first of all, please don’t leave me here by myself with that shitty tea, okay, you‘re the only company i‘ve got right now.“ i press my lips together and let out a small laugh through my nose.  
„second, please don’t worry, it’s okay honestly. just know that, seriously, whoever or whatever you think i am - that’s not me. i‘m a decent person.“ his voice was so soft, it felt like honey to my ears and i could feel how all the tension that built up in my body slowly disappeared. „thank you. i‘m sure you are one great person.“  
the urge to hold his hand while talking was overwhelming, but obviously i would’ve never done that. it was bad enough to realize i was staring at his lips while he was speaking, rather than into his eyes. dom shakes his head and sighs. „don’t thank me.“ he shrugs his shoulders and points at my coffee. „how’s that? any good, i‘m telling ya, the tea here absolutely sucks ass.“ i burst out laughing instantly push his arm a little. „it only sucks because you don’t take your damn teabag out of it!“ we both sat there laughing and smiling at each other, continuing the tea conversation as if it were the most natural thing in the world.


End file.
